Self Efficacy

You’ve Done Harder Things, Highlighting Past Experiences to Develop Self-Efficacy

Leaving military service is one of the few missions where there isn't a clear operations order to dig through and find the information you need. You have a desired end-state, but that is about it. Many times, even the people you are sent to talk to are waiting to transition out themselves. The points of contact change, the date approaches before you know it, and the scary thing is that success isn’t guaranteed.

No rehearsals. No team room where everyone has already been through it. For many veterans, that's unsettling and not because they're incapable, but because they're entering an environment where success looks completely different than it did in uniform. 

The irony is that you've already spent your career becoming exceptionally good at navigating uncertainty. You just may not recognize it. We are going to dig into self-efficacy, what it isn’t, what it is, and how you develop it and use it to succeed in your transition process.

The Biggest Weapon is One You Already Own

Psychologist Albert Bandura introduced the concept of self-efficacy in 1977 (probably the same year your CW5 originally enlisted), which he defined as the belief that you can organize and execute the actions required to succeed in a specific situation… Organize and Execute… Those words are familiar at least. Let’s dig into it.

A theologian and philosophy, Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), decided that in order to define something, sometimes it was best to first define what it is not. Let’s first start with what self-efficacy isn’t to clear up any misconceptions.

Self-efficacy isn't blind optimism. It isn't false motivation. It isn't positive thinking and just pushing through to the next hilltop. It’s more than those things because it has a foundation, a foundation in you and your experiences which make up who you are today.

Self-efficacy IS an evidence-based belief. The evidence that you are putting your faith in, is you. Every successful mission, every difficult school, every deployment, every problem solved under stress becomes evidence that says, "I've figured out hard things before. I can figure this out too."

The transition to civilian life doesn't require a new version of you. You’re not going to put a top hat and monocle on and call yourself the Monopoly man and be successful. It requires applying the version that already exists. It’s reflecting on where you have been and applying your tools, resources, proof of resilience and perseverance to new challenges.

You Have Been Training for Uncertainty Your Entire Career

Think about your first day at your unit. You didn't know the people, unless you were lucky enough to sign-in with a buddy from Basic, AIT, or OSUT. You didn't know the culture. You didn't know all the expectations. Eventually, you adapted.

Think about your first deployment. Chaotic as you learned the ropes. No amount of training perfectly prepared you for reality. But, you adapted. You learned as you went. Mistakes happened but you persevered and pushed through.

Think about every new leadership position, new weapon system, new mission set, new school, or new assignment. Each one required stepping into the unknown before you felt ready. That's exactly what transition is, it's simply another unknown. The difference is that this time the uncertainty doesn't wear camouflage, and you sure as shit don’t have to salute it.

Don't Let Familiarity Fool You

Many veterans assume civilian life is harder because it's unfamiliar. In reality, unfamiliar doesn't mean impossible. You’ve been in unfamiliar environments multiple times. You've repeatedly entered environments where the consequences of failure were significantly higher than choosing the wrong career field, interviewing for a job, or learning a new industry. That doesn't minimize the challenges of transition, but it gives you a new perspective.

A buddy of mine who got out shortly after we were on a team together and he filled me in on his transition experience. “It sucked, I didn’t know what I was doing and barely made time lines, I wish I was deploying with you dudes but this is good too. Even when its shitty, at least there’s no sand in my ass crack and no one is shooting at me while I crap.” I appreciated his outlook and was glad to hear that his humor hadn’t changed. (Side tip, keep your humor and never stop finding the joy in the struggle).

Finding purpose. Building a new identity. Supporting a family. Learning a different culture. These are legitimate challenges that have fear associated with them, because its new and they are important. Remember that the new obstacles you are facing are just that, they are new. They aren’t that much different. Rather than climbing a rope you are learning the ropes of a new system (pun intended).

Build Your Civilian Self-Efficacy the Same Way You Built It in Uniform

Okay, we know what self-efficacy isn’t, we know what it is, but what am I supposed to do about it? How do you even build it? The answer is pretty simple, especially when looking at the research and using someone from the military, it’s EXTREMELY similar to how you developed self-efficacy in the military. Bandura identified four primary sources of self-efficacy. The military has unknowingly trained you in every one of them.

1. Remember Your Previous Successes

The strongest source of self-efficacy comes from previous successes. Instead of asking yourself if you can succeed in the civilian world, reflect on the experiences you have and find evidence that you can use to prove to yourself that you can do difficult things.

Write Them Down.

Selection.

Schools.

Leadership roles.

Deployments.

Injuries overcome.

Personal setbacks.

Times you thought you might fail, but didn't.

These aren't just stories to tell your grandkids after your third glass of prune juice, they're evidence you can use to prove to yourself that you can face difficult challenges and not just survive, but flourish.

2. Grab a 2062 and Borrow Confidence Until Yours Catches Up

One reason transition feels isolating is because many veterans disconnect from those who have already gone before them. Find people who have successfully transitioned. Study them. Talk with them. Learn from them. Message them on social media. Offer to buy them a drink while they share their experiences. Seeing people with similar backgrounds succeed increases your own belief that success is possible.

This isn't weakness. It's exactly how military mentorship works. When you were a senior, you mentored and guided the junior. It’s the passing on of knowledge and it is a major part of the military culture, especially SOF.

3. Watch Your Internal Dialogue

Military training teaches accountability, for one another and certainly for yourself. Sometimes veterans accidentally turn that accountability into self-criticism. How often do we say that, “if it wasn’t for dark humor, I’d have no humor at all?” That is just how things are in the community, but this is a specific time that you need to be aware of the dialogue. Phrases like: 

"I should already know this."

"I'm behind."

"I have no experience."

“Way to go, idiot.”

Replace those thoughts with more accurate ones.

"I'm learning a new operating environment."

"I've adapted before."

"I don't know this… yet."

“I’ve overcome more before.”

Small shifts in tone and dialogue can make a huge difference, in the influence on your mental well-being.

4. Recognize Your Stress for What It Is, Importance

Many veterans interpret anxiety as proof they're making the wrong decision. Often, it's simply proof that something matters. If something is important, you will be nervous about the outcome, if you aren’t then it might not be that important. If the outcome has a lot of weight, your body will activate your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) to try and make sure you have the resources necessary to be successful. 

Your body doesn't always distinguish between excitement and uncertainty; it just sees a need to release the stores of energy as quickly as possible. Let’s try this, instead of asking, "Why am I nervous?" or “What’s wrong with me?”

You can ask, "How can I use this energy to prepare?" or “I feel the power to succeed.” Yes, I know the second one is cheesy, I don’t care, it still works. Stress can become fuel instead of evidence that you're unprepared. In psychologist speak, you are reframing what you are experiencing to be a different view, a more positive one.

Stop Comparing Missions

One of the fastest ways to lose confidence is comparing military accomplishments to civilian ones. You're not supposed to be an expert on the first day, you certainly weren’t when you showed up to the team room. No one expects a new captain to perform like a seasoned team sergeant. No one expects the new soldier from AIT to lead the platoon on the first day, it takes time to learn, prepare, and find your balance.

The civilian world is no different. Competence comes through repetition and experience. The goal isn't to immediately become who you'll be in ten years. The goal is to become slightly better than you were yesterday. Follow the 1% rule and get 1% better every day. Start with the simple things and build from there.

Your Identity Was Never the Uniform or Team Patch

Many veterans believe they're leaving behind the person they became in service. You're not, you're leaving behind a role, a line on a resume that had a lot of influence on who you became but, in the end, it was a job. It was an important job, but it was a job.

Your discipline wasn't issued to you, neither was your resilience. Your ability to solve problems under pressure wasn't sewn onto your sleeve. Your training helped to develop it, but it started with you. Those qualities belong to you and don’t get turned into CIF when you leave.

The uniform, tab, beret, scroll, trident, EGA, and insignia gave them somewhere to grow. Now they'll grow somewhere else. That growth belongs to you and stays with you. Those attributes that came from the training, the position, and the experiences are things that can be leveraged by you.

The Next Mission

Transition isn't about replacing your military, you’re expanding it. The same mindset that helped you survive uncertainty, adapt under pressure, and accomplish difficult missions still exists, it’s still who you are. The operational environment has changed but the principles haven't, and they won’t.

The objective now is no different than it has always been:

Assess the situation.  Develop a plan. Initiate movement consistently and effectively. Reassess the situation. Adapt when necessary. Keep Moving Forward.

Here is a short 5-minute drill to help develop your self-efficacy awareness. This drill is called, "Mission Debrief", so grab your green notebook and get started:

• List five situations where you succeeded despite not feeling ready. 

• Identify the skills that helped you succeed in each situation. 

• Write down one current transition challenge. 

• Ask: "Which of those same skills applies here?" 

• Identify the next action you can complete within the next 48 hours. 

Your strongest evidence for success is the experiences that you have been through, the memories you made, the times you adapted and overcome, your proof of your resilience, the proof of your consistency. You are your foundation for self-efficacy.