Die Living

Fear and Self Loathing in Houston

For most of my adult life, fear kept me in a bottle. The bottle was my dark hole of a comfort zone. I knew for a long time that drinking alone wasn’t right, that drinking daily wasn’t right. It of ...

If Wishes Were Horses Beggars Would Ride

Growing up, anytime I prefaced a statement with, “I wish,” my mother always replied, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” I found it annoying. Later in life, after joining the Marine Corps,...

More Than One Way to Die Living

Using Fear as Fuel

I’ve been afraid my whole life. I didn’t have a home as a child, I bounced between houses and family members. I slept on a couch here, a floor there; a bed if I was lucky. As soon as I got close t...

Mindful Strength Training

When most people think of mindfulness, they envision a serene scene in which a practiced yogi zens out in a wood-paneled room as their effervescent eucalyptus oil tingles the skin and fills the nos...